The Making of Emo's
by asagoro
Summary: CRACK. Crack fic, regarding Naruto's fall to emodom. But wait, isn't Sasuke supposed to be the emo of the series? Hmm...NaruSasu, SasuNaru. Crack. Slight yaoi, language.


It had been three years since Sasuke left. Three years! That was longer than Team Seven had been whole! And for all of Naruto's hard work…well, there was nothing to show for it. It really was beginning to get to him. Three years since he'd had a best friend, and he hadn't gotten any closer to getting Sasuke back. Sure, Orochimaru was dead, but all that really meant was that he'd be harder to track, now that he wasn't bound to Sound or that slimy pedophile.

Getting a new friend was out of the question. It had taken almost a year to befriend Sasuke, and lately Naruto felt that it would take too much time and energy to get that close to someone again. The only people he actually saw on a regular basis were Sakura and Sai. Sakura was off limits in 'best-friendness', she always had been. Naruto had just gotten to the point where she didn't completely hate him, so it would really be better not to push it, lest she castrate him. Maybe in five or ten years they could move on to a more substantial relationship, but then again, Naruto really hoped to have Sasuke back by then.

And then there was Sai, the biggest freaking queer he had ever met. It was as if he had dedicated every minute of his life to getting into Naruto's pants. Gross! And that outfit, with that stupid bare midriff crap…not that Naruto minded the view that much…maybe on a different person…but dammit, it was distracting! And it didn't help that the guy looked like an extremely gay version of Sasuke…same dark eyes, ebony hair, and that pale skin…and now Naruto was thinking of Sasuke again. Deep down, Naruto knew that the reason he hated Sai was that Sai looked a whole hell of a lot like his best friend. Anyway, Sai wasn't a good candidate for the position.

Man, Naruto was really feeling down. He briefly wondered if this was how Sasuke felt, if this depression was why Sasuke was such a prick all the time. Maybe…but no, Naruto forced himself to believe that Sasuke was just a prick by nature, and therefore his nasty attitude was normal and didn't need fixing. Too much of Sasuke would need fixing by the time Naruto was done with him.

After thinking for a moment, Naruto decided that he really was spending too much time alone if he was even considering making Sai his best friend. Maybe sleeping would make things better. Yes, sleeping always made things better. If he went to bed in a bad mood, he'd just wake up refreshed and as good as new. Keeping that in mind, Naruto went to bed.

However, despite Naruto's fantastic and usually accurate theory about sleeping, he awoke the next morning feeling more tired than before. So Naruto went back to sleep. And he slept restlessly for the next three days. Despite all of his off time, Naruto seemed to be losing energy faster than bunnies multiply. Maybe there was something wrong with him? Was he ill? Naruto sighed and got dressed. Sakura and Sai, and maybe even Kakashi and Yamato, were probably worried about him, after all, he hadn't shown up for any training for the last three—no, four days now. Hopefully they hadn't sent out an anbu search team yet.

Naruto wandered slowly down the street towards the bridge where he was supposed to meet his team. He had ran at first, but then came to the conclusion that it really didn't matter if he ran or not: if Sakura had sent out an anbu team, then they would probably spot him on the street, no matter what speed he was going; and if she hadn't, then he was late anyway, so they would just have to wait.

When he came closer to the bridge, he realized that maybe he should have said something to someone, anyone, before he decided to 'take a break' (in other words, spending three or four days in the bottomless pit known as emo-ness). His biggest hint was probably Sakura charging at him, face red with a huge vain popping out of her forehead, with a fist raised to punch him. Upon seeing Sakura's fury, Naruto spin on his heels and ran for his life, though it was futile to run from such an angry woman. His was tackled to the ground and beaten within an inch of his life by his former love interest (of course, this incident made Naruto wonder what exactly he ever saw in this heinous bitch).


End file.
